Thursday, June 10, 2004

Chapter 1: Arrivals (Part 6)

Seating himself comfortably on his throne, a facsimile of the old one in Mirynium, Jodias motioned to the seats by the side of the hall. Arboru seated himself, the rest of the crew following. The forty of them occupied only the front half of the hall’s chairs, testimony to its size.

“Now, tell me what you have found.,” Jodias commanded, and for the next hour he listened silently as Arboru recounted his crew’s experiences in the new land, up to and including leaving the bulk of them behind to construct a town for those who would follow. The merchant explorer’s report ended with the presentation to Jodias of the sacks of gold ore they had found. Jodias’ eyes lighted up upon seeing the gold glistening from the open mouths of the waist-high sacks.
“What are the wishes of you and your men? You have but to ask, and I will grant it. This discovery is greater than any new source of trade you could find. The gold will be extremely useful.”

“Your Majesty, I would like to ask you for permission to bring the families of my crew with me to the new land to settle. Also, the two hundred of us would like to be the new leaders of the town we found, as well as managers of the gold mine. If it so pleases your majesty.”

Jodias nodded without hesitation. “You have my permission to speak for my and all Erennia’s behalf in all matters in the new land. As well as governor of Erennin lands there, the gold mines will also be under your control, as well as the army which I will send you.”

“Army, your majesty?”

Jodias smiled, signalled one of his aides over to the throne. Whispering something into the aide’s ear causing him to hurry off towards a side door, the king said, “You are going to return to the new land with far more than you came back with.”

Arboru could only ponder what that statement meant as he left the Great Hall to go to the lodgings prepared for him in the palace.

****************

The next morning, he found that he had been created a Duke, given all Erennia-in-Arboriel as his domain, and sent gifts of good weapons and horses. He had been informed this early in the morning, just after sunrise, when the seneschal came banging at his door to make the announcement. In a whirlwind of activity he was thrown into a crash course on protocol and procedure. A guard was assigned to him, four Royal Guards following him wherever he went, as befitted his newly conferred status.

After that, things moved really fast. Under escort, within the next week or so the summoned families of the crew arrived in the capital, moving rapidly into inns around the capital, their expenses paid by the Crown. Following that the escorts themselves left and returned with their families, then other volunteer families came along, reporting their names to the commissioner appointed to get the names of those who wanted to go to the new land. In all, when the final tally was added up, over twenty thousand people were leaving for the new town, two and a half thousand of which were soldiers and horsemen, many of the others skilled in manufacture, craftwork or agriclture. The fleet of ships, when it finally set sail, consisted of five hundred ships of various sizes, simply requisitioned by the Crown from the coastal traders at enormous cost, offset significantly by the sacks of gold Arboru had brought back with him.

By the end of summer the fleet had set out, racing against time to arrive in the new land before the supplies left behind with the men ran out. Arboru, at the helm of his Tioron, wondered what he would find when their fleet arrived on the foreign shores. A simple wooden town flying the crescent-cross banner? Or a burning ruin? Or simple disappearance?

The wind blowing the salt spray into his eyes did not make things any better.

*******************

Dekllon had, despite the fact that he had discovered gold in the streams and rivers, been left behind. Though slightly resentful about it, he had slowly, over the months they were building the town, amassed a considerable amount of gold grains, panned from the streams located around the vicinity. Within his little cabin he had a sack of gold, almost completely filled with the small gravel-sized grains of gold. Sitting on his bed, he liked to run his fingers through them, hear the soft rustle-clicking as the grains knocked against one another, the gold glinting in the meagre light coming in through the solitary window. With the gold he would be rich beyond compare, able to furnish his cabin with more than just the few pots, blankets and the two small chests that he had within it. Getting up from his bed, Dekllon entertained his sudden urge to go to the beach and look out to sea. He was doing this rather often, since the 2 months that it should have taken Arboru to return were long over. Supplies were running out, even supplemented as they were with the wild berries, roots and game hunted down in the forests and plains of the vicinity. The men were getting worried; Dekllon was not at all surprised to see at least ten others standing on the shores as well, the waves lapping at their toes.

1 comment:

Suncho said...

Hi,

I am reading a lot of fantasy and wanted to comment on your work. To start it I like it and I think that it is a good read. If I have to rank it I would say it belongs to the upper 50% of what I have read.
I understand that it is work in process but here are my comments:
1.Plot - I think the plot is good. However for a novel it is moving too quickly. And for a short story it has too many layers.
2.Language - it is good and appropriate for the genre. I also like the descriptions - not too long but colorful. Some more dialog will gave more substance to the plot though.
2.Characters - I think you have some really colorful characters here and there but they don't have enough history - give some more background info on them along the way. Again this adds to more layers and more options for you as an autor
Lastly, and this I believe is purely function of it being work in progress - the overall plot makes sense but it is in bits and pieces. I would love to see the finished work or at least parts of it.
Keep the good job and thanks for the interesting read!
Ianko